Wednesday, April 7, 2010
In case you were wondering...
I have not felt like writing and have been feeling pretty busy and unmotivated lately. I think we are still recovering from spring break with all 3 kids home all day. We are still adjusting to my husband's schedule working days after 3 years of him working nights. The weather has ranged from blizzards to 80 degree days, and back, several times in the past few weeks.
We have had car troubles and I got pulled over and didn't know my license was cancelled for some reason. Not sure if it's a traffic ticket I didn't take care of from back when I was too high to care, or if it's related to my identity being stolen, also back when I was too high to care.
We are sponsoring Bryson's uncle who is on parole. Ironically he used to be our drug dealer and literal partner in crime. When we got arrested and started working our way back out of the hell hole we created, he continued on the wrong path and wasn't so lucky to get probation. He got out over a year ago but still hadn't learned and went right back to selling dope and violated parole in the halfway house. This time he has made it through a more intensive inmate rehabilitation program than he had to. He finished his time in the halfway house and now he needs somewhere to live. The sad reality and irony is that there are no other family members that are clean and can promise to provide a home free from weapons and drugs, but we can.
I have to admit I am a little nervous, but we have clarified that we are not the one's who need him here and that anything perceived as risky for our family or that is in anyway violating his parole, means we will report him and and revoke his sponsorship. He is doing random ua's and ba's and should he fail even one it would send him back to prison so there is some comfort in that. Feels kind of weird to be on this side.
I am still struggling with extreme bouts of insomnia which in turn cause me to feel exhausted all the time and I feel short and irritable with my kids. Still waiting for word on our health insurance application so that I can hopefully get to the root of it all.
Taking things one moment at a time and feeling pretty content with that because it allows me to live with hope for a better moment, despite my emotional and physical discomforts of this moment.