HAPPY and HAPPY 101

Wow I cannot help but to be smitten with all of these wonderful awards!!!! It really is a great feeling to get recognition and feel appreciated within a community of such exceptionally talented writers. It is equally as delightful to pass on the awards and give opportunity for new faces to show up on new blogs, creating new connections. It feels so nice to  be able to show appreciation to the people who grace my computer screen with their honesty and heartache, humor and insight, and who enlighten my life through their experiences, creativity, art, photographs, and written words. 

Thank you Miss OverThinker from Life Uncensored for this Happy Award! I am so happy that you are back!

The way it works is this: list 10 things that make you happy and then pass this award to 10 bloggers that make you happy.

1. Really good coffee with Italian Sweet Cream creamer. MMMMMM

2. All the adorable affection I get from my 2 year old, Victorya and seeing her older brother and sister smile :)

3. Still getting butterflies around Bryson and feeling the security of our love

4. Cuddling with my Himalayan kitty, Nala-ago, or playing with our big white fluffy dog, Belle

5. Walking barefoot in mud, or water, or muddy water, especially when it is in the warm rain

6. The right song playing at the right time, creating the soundtrack for life

7. Forever friends. The kind that you can lose touch for years and when you meet again, you pick up like there was no time lost and your friendship is always growing, trusting, and beautiful, no matter the time in between encounters or the miles in between you.

8. Homecooked meals shared with friends

9. Blogging and all of the things it has become for me and the friends I have found because of it

10.Any picture that has my Grandpa in it




and now for 10 bloggers that make me happy!

Brittany @ Unexpected Surprises

Alice @ Alice in Wonderland

Susan @ A Rewoven Life

Dan @ Vacant Mind

Barbara @ Writing From the Inside Out

Clean and Crazy @ My Recovery

Dawn @ DHAM !! DaughterHeroinAddict Moms

XXX@ God is my Drug

Roxy@ Woman of Essence

Madison @ Fight of Your Life

You all touch my life in some way and you bring me joy and happiness in my everyday life. I appreciate you all! There are quite a few happy awards going around, so if you are receiving doubles, don't do awards, or just don't have time, please do not feel obligated in any way to repost and pass along these awards. 

Roxy at Woman of Essence passed along the Happy 101 to me. Thanks Roxy! The rules of receiving this award is to link it back to the presenter and pass it on to at least three other bloggers and list 10 things that make you happy. Of course I already did 10, but I am full of gratitude and have so many things that make me happy, so here are 10 more.

1. The smell of cut grass

2. Playing Mafia Wars on Facebook

3. Taking pictures

4. Taking classes

5. Babies

6.Seeing charity in action 

7. Fixing something

8. Tiramisu

9. Moscato 

10. Seeing new places

and now some more bloggers that make me happy! 

Kim @ ramblings of the bearded one

Single Mama @ Single Mama NYC

Gavin @ Insanity's Musings

Again- THANK THANK THANK YOU for the awards, thank YOU all for being you, and for writing and sharing your words and your lives!!!!

and next on my list..... AWARDS

So I said I would be working on my list and accomplishing one thing per day. Can you stand it? My list is already dwindling away and I am going to have to create a new one of things I want to do instead of things I need  to do!

So without further adieu.... the next thing on my list.... accepting SOME VERY SPECIAL AWARDS!

A month ago I was given the From me to You award by Gavin at Insanity's Musings. Thank You so much Gavin! An award from a writer with your phenomenal capabilities is flattering to say the least. To you my readers: If you have not already found your way over to Gavin's wonderful corner of the world wide web, where he tells illicit tales blurred with fact and fiction, capable of taking any mind into deep introspect and self examination, allowing you to become his characters and see through the sordid eyes of each one, crammed with intense feelings that he can express like no other, well then WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

The conditions of this award are to pay it forward to five people. Since I was such a procrastinator, and I have another award to pass along, AND many of you have already received both, I am going to leave this one up for grabs if anyone wants it and apologize for not accepting it earlier. Thanks again, Gavin!

Next is the Superior Scribbler award.  This comes to me from a woman that I consider such a special friend, Jennifer at One True Self. Thank You so much Jennifer.  I feel like it was her that held my hand  as we entered this blogging world and gave me the encouragement to be free and share my own truth. She writes from deep within her soul. She is an inspiration to anyone that is moving forward in life and learning from the past. She is strong, determined, and beautiful, and I never leave her blog without learning a little bit more about myself. If you haven't already done so, please stop by her blog and have a peek around. She has a TRUE gift with words and she is sharing it with the world!

So the rules of the award are that you're supposed to:

• Thank whoever nominated you for it...
• Post, paste, or patch the award's image onto your own blog...
• Tell your readers seven things they don't yet know about you...
• Pass it along to seven five more bloggers...
• And notify them personally when you have done so.

So 7 things about me that you are yet to know? This was hard last time! hmmmm

1. I am really really afraid of using ouija boards! I got one when I was about 12 and had some really weird experiences with it. I believe that we got a demon to posses my friends hamster while using the board. We called for a random spirit and a woman responded. She detailed her name, age, and how she died (helicopter crash in Iraq) and we seen a news story the next day with all of the same details. There are too many stories to tell here, but I was so afraid that I hid it in the garage. I had nightmares of it glowing from in there and shaking and trying to get out of the box, so I had to confess to my grandparents that I had it and ask them to return it to the store.

2. I am 6' tall and have never played basketball. I get asked all of the time if I played in school. Nope. I am really good at getting things on top shelves for people though :)

3. I used to play the accordion in school. lol enough said

4. I absolutely HATE the cold. It affects my mood and I am very sensitive to cold weather. I equate being cold with suffering. I do not know how I have survived so many years through such bad winters and blizzards. Sometimes being cold makes me want to cry. I hate it so bad. I have IMMENSE gratitude for a heated house, a warm bed, and the absolute BEST Christmas gift I have ever received was an electric blanket!

5. I volunteered with a friend at a nursing home when I was 8 years old. We would go every weekday during the summer and we would call bingo for the residents, help them to and from meals, run the cash register in the gift store, and serve ice cream out of the ice cream shop. We would visit with them in their rooms and help keep people calm when they were waiting for nurses to get to them.. There was a 100 year old lady that used to fly planes and she had the most interesting stories!

Oddly enough, my paternal grandmother, who I had never met, worked as a nurse there. She recognized me from baby pictures that my Dad had, and she introduced herself by saying that she thought she was my Grandma. My maternal grandmother had just died the year before, and my initial reaction was that she was my Grandma reincarnated! Talk about a strange encounter! She reintroduced me to my BD (biological Dad) and although it never materialized into a relationship with any meaning, it did give me the opportunity to meet my half brother who was born a short time later.

6. I have a half sister from my BD that I never got to meet. She was 2 years older than me and she was a legitimate child of my BD's first marriage. She committed suicide and didn't want my father notified. She had her body donated to science, and so there was no service or burial. I didn't find out until several years after she had died, when me and my little brother were trying to find her.

7. I cannot eat anything that has any type of honey in it. It makes me very sick. It is an uncommon side effect of my Weight Loss Surgery. You would be surprised how many things you would not suspect have honey in them!

Now for the fun part! I get to pass this award along! I am pretty sure most of the people that originally come to mind, already have this award, I am going to try to diligently give this to new and deserving candidates!

1. Lori at My Life Interrupted- This is one strong Mama! She is raising her step daughter's children and she is the center of strength in a beautiful family! Please stop by her blog! She has a heart of gold and shares the most touching experiences. This is as real as it gets!

2. Barbara at Recovery Happens- She is a very special woman and friend. A kindred spirit. I feel like I have known her forever! Recovery Happens is a very powerful blog filled with her personal thoughts on the recovery process that her sons are facing, battling heroin addiction. Despite all of her own struggles, she is one of the most compassionate people I think I have ever experienced.

3. Shattered at Shattered into One Piece- I think she does a much better job of summing up herself than I could ever attempt. From her profile,  "You could call me shattered. I'm a wife, mother, step-mother, misplaced daughter, confused religious person, and an abuse survivor. My life has been painful and hell, my life is still painful; probably more so now than ever before. I see my therapist on at least a weekly basis so writing here is part of my process. I'm learning to feel and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, next to surviving. I'm a funny person but it's a dark, wicked kind of funny. I find humor in odd things, in my misfortunes, in my struggles, and in how others relate to me. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder and I hope that this blog will bring a down to earth awareness to the lasting scars that abuse can cause."


This blog is so real and heartfelt, it really gets to me at my core. Her honesty brings light to issues many people look away from and she is facing them with bravery and conquering her past, emerging into the present stronger and more beautiful every day. Please stop by her blog and see the power in her words for yourself.


4. Lorenza at Pure Energy- Lorenza is like a breath of fresh air! Her experiences are heart warming and the way in which she shares her experiences in her life's journey, simply make you feel like you are sitting there with her, sipping a cozy warm beverage, basking in the radiant energy that is her way. She writes in English, not her native language, but her glorious Italian roots shine through! I just can't get enough.


5. LisaC at Loving an Addict- Lisa is a mother in the recovery process of parenting an addict child, valiantly  facing her own codependent behaviors, coming out victoriously. She shares her experiences with the openness and honesty of a mother truly divided by her son's addiction and her innate love as his mother. She is an integral part of my own blogging support system, full of insight and benevolence. She helps me in my own journey as a recovering addict and as a parent. Both her blog and her comments reflect her kind spirit and her personal growth. She is an inspiration to me. 


I know I am supposed to pass this on to 7 bloggers, but both my own time constraints (its homework time for 2 and dinner time for 5 hungry people!) and the fact that most of you have this award already, have left me to compromise on 5.

Thanks again Gavin and Jennifer!

Recognition and Thank You's, MIA, Life Happens- a blogging medley

I have been away from home and the computer for a few days. My husband's cousin is moving and we stayed a couple of nights with him helping, hanging out, and checking out the amenity's at his new place. Indoor pool and steam room, HELLO! It was a nice break and now we will be taking another break for the Holiday tomorrow. 


I am still catching up on all of my reading. I did want to take a moment to thank LisaC at Loving and Parenting an Addict and Barbara who can now be found at Recovery Happens for the lovely Loyalty Awards! Two lovely awards from to wonderful women! If you haven't already done so, take a little trip over to their blogs for some wonderful and honest insight into their life journeys, parenting addicts, among other things. Thank you so much girls!!! 

I will pass these awards along after the Holidays, as I just passed along another award and I think people might be rather busy like I am at this time of year. 


I wanted to share some of the things I have been thinking about over the last few days and some of the new developments in my life. As we narrow in on our big adventure, the dreaminess of it all has started to fade some, and the realities of planning are now in force. We have started selling things in the house. We are in the middle of going through all of our clothes and getting rid of what we don't need (I am even taking the time to donate the usable ones!). I have let the landlord know we are moving out January 1st and we are figuring out if we will downsize to a 2 bedroom for 6 mos or will move in with Bryson's aunt to save money. 


Today we went and LOOKED at campers for the first time. I scour craigslist on a daily basis, but to actually go look at some, made it feel so REAL! His cousin gave us some of his camping gear that he uncovered in his move. I have been gathering boxes and organizing and condensing things around the house. It is all happening.  


Another of the big happenings is that I finally am going to finish my degree! It is just my Associates of General Studies, but I have been 5 classes away from graduating for over 5 years now. No one in my family has ever gone to college and the 3 semesters that I have completed were when I was widowed with small children. It is a huge life dream for me to continue my education. Finishing it before our trip will be such an accomplishment. It also means that when we settle down again (IF we do!) that I am ready to go into whatever coursework, for whatever field I finally choose, with NO MORE general studies!!! YAY!


Life has not all been gravy. There are several different people in the family that are coexisting with drama, addiction, unhealthy relationships, and shaky futures. I feel fortunate that we are not entwined in that web anymore, but it is still painful to be helpless onlookers. My emotions really run the board with empathy (I have been there), hope (anyone can change), fear (some people never do), and sadness (we cannot help anymore).


Part of me mourns the loss of connection with people, but realizing that the type of isolation we have chosen is healthy and comfortable for us, and has likely saved us from ourselves, brings solace. 


I am thankful for:


-opportunity and the ability within myself to create it


-freedom from fear


-the ability to forgive myself


-the wonderful people that grace me with their presence in life- cyber presence included!


I think all of those things can be applied to every little detail in some form. 


Happy Thanksgiving!

From Me to You Award... My first!

I received this award from Susan at Weaving A Life. I appreciate it so much... Thank You!
The rules are as follows:
1. Thank whoever gave this to you
2. Copy award
3. Post it in your blog
4. Tell us 7 things that your readers don’t know
5. Link 7 new bloggers
6. Notify winners of the award with a comment on their blog
7. Keep being awesome!


So 7 things you don't know about me. Wow I am too much of an open book. What are my secrets?


1. I used to be so extremely desperate to have cinematic memories as a youth and teen, that I would set the stage for many events obsessively, by compiling the perfect atmosphere of music, lighting, where I should take pictures from, how I should smile and what I would say (and hope would be said back), and that write about it in my diary as if it "just happened." Whew it was hard work!

2. I can fix most anything in a household. This is due to many years of being a single mother with little income. I have installed toilets, sinks, a garbage disposal, fixed and replaced drains, replaced light fixtures, converted a whole house of old outlets to grounded ones (and shocked the sh*t out of myself! LOL), and can operate all power and lawn tools.

3. I can cook just about anything and usually replicate food I have eaten without a recipe. The only thing I ever measure out is dessert baking recipes. I won second place in a chili contest at my husband's work last year.

4. I am a huge procrastinator (think the power getting shut off because I didn't want to call and pay the bill-even when I had the money!), but I am always early for appointments.

5. I am tone deaf and if I tried to sing it would be worse than the worst karaoke singer you EVER heard!

6. I am learning to parent my kids with concepts from Love and Logic and it is very trying at times but very rewarding. I think I may even like to teach it when my kids need a little less of my time.

7. It took me like a half hour to figure out how to make text linked to a website and I am very excited that I got to use it in # 6. I have been wanting to learn how so I could link to other blogs for a long time, but see #4! It took me like another half hour to think of #7 :)

Now to pass this on (I am excited to practice my new linking text to blogs skill!!!!)

To a wonderful woman that I am proud to call my friend, Barbara at The Needle and the Damage Done You are a wonderful lady full of life's beauty. Sharing in her journey of family addiction, her honesty and genuine spirit gives me a sense of comfort and belonging.

To Jennifer at One True Self, an amazing lady that I feel so connected to and you are one of my best supporters.

Lorenza at Pure Energy, you are next! You are a life poet, your words speak to my soul.

Purposefully Yours (aka xxx) at Spirit is my Drug- Your journey is inspiring and your courage and wisdom in recovery are astounding. I am thankful for the opportunity to follow you.

Dan at Vacant Mind because you remind me to laugh when sometimes I have forgotten to... ok I am lying - you MAKE me laugh and continue to allow me to let my family think I am quite literally insane for laughing at my computer screen. Thank you for your perspective, sarcasm, and humor.

Kim AYRES (I can spell it- I took note for future reference) over at ramblings of the bearded one. You are the first blog I came to EVER and I just haven't been able to leave. You are my muse in blogging and creativity and your life is inspirational and delightful in both joys and sorrows.

And last but definitely not least, Debby at Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story. You are one of my newest inspirations. Your spirit and endurance reflect your love in motherhood.

So go ahead and pass on some blogging appreciation!