another day...

I will feel like being here.

I will feel like gettin up early.

I will feel like cleaning, organizing, getting ready.

I will be rested and my body will feel normal .

I will feel joy and contentment.

The sun will shine and warm my heart...

... another day.

Today

I want to stay in bed.

I am tired, worn, not recovered from being sick, and facing the monthly woes of being a woman.

I am missing my 6th grader who is away at outdoor lab, worrying if he is warm, wondering if he has enough layers and warm enough socks.

My 4th grader is home sick for the 4th day from school.

My 2 year old is well and full of energy and doesn't understand a sick or tired mommy. She didn't understand when she was up at 3 am asking for juice, a snack, water, cartoons, or any imaginable reason to be awake at 3 am either.

It is cold and snowing and I am worried about the sprinkler system that "Grandpa of the year" never showed up to blow out.

I am bitter that the day he was supposed to show up just also happened to be his granddaughter's 2nd birthday party, the 2nd birthday party that he missed.

Today I am going to mute my mind, let my body finish healing, and wait for another day.