Friday, February 26, 2010
I am hiding...
Darkness is coming for me. I cannot tell as of yet if it is just one of those days, or if it is one of those times when darkness comes and tries to take me to that place. It has been lingering... grasping at me, despite emotional defenses being armed.
Every time I have an emotional turnover that really impacts my well being, I always consider if it is severe enough to merit a visit to the Dr. The answer is always no, but the question is more important than the answer. The question is one of my tools. It reinstates that facing it alone is not the only option. Facing it alone has been too unbearable in the past, and has almost led to ending it alone.
My body feels the drain. Insomnia taunts my exhaustion, leaving me powerless and tearful. Sleep calls to me, reaching for the longing in my soul that calls out to her. Seconds seem like hours; the clock is the constant bearer of bad news; time my newest nemesis. People around me do not understand and I take the time that I need because it is not easily given.
I see the sun peeking through my window, hope floating by on vague but distinguished rays of light. The darkness is two steps behind, but I am hiding with hope.