just... adjusting, tired, existing. Just HERE.

I haven't been around for much in terms of the blog world. It took me all day to catch up on all the blogs I love, but I just didn't have the energy to comment. Sorry. We got our tax return and I have been busy catching up on bills, buying long desired things, and well honestly... just being worn out by so many THINGS. I also got a much needed break from my mischievous much loved, beautiful terrible, two year old, but being away from her for 3 days still caused stress and anxiety .

I am really thankful that we are able to do these things, but having a lot of new stuff is exhausting. I finally got a laptop, but as excited as I am for this long awaited luxury, I am not comfortable with it yet. I am used to the computer environment that I so loathed before, and typing on this portable computing powerhouse is awkward. I do not feel the solitude that I have in my office. It was something that separated me from my family, something that I thought I didn't want. That caused me to want a laptop so that I could be ever present in my family's life, something that I took for granted. Now I AM ever present... and I am thankful... AND grieving my solitude.

This is one of those adjustment times in my life. I have no expectations of accomplishing anything. I am content with one moment at a time and I have realistic expectations of just existing until I adjust and adapt to all of the change. I have a lot to consider, a lot to be excited for, a lot to adjust to, and only the future to get through... one moment at a time.